


Destroy Me

by megmeg654



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-15 19:43:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13038090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megmeg654/pseuds/megmeg654
Summary: Rey and Kylo deal with the aftermath of her escaping on the millennium falcon with the remnants of the resistance. Their force bond makes them choose who each of them want to be, will Rey become the Jedi Luke said she would be? Will Kylo become the Supreme leader Snoke would be proud of? Or will the voices in their heads change everything?(SPOILERS FOR TLJ)





	1. Chapter 1

   Rey sat in the falcon as the rest of the resistance, few as they were, left the ship- onto the planet Corellia. Home to a former rebel base that had apparently been abandoned- and most importantly undiscovered by the First Order. She couldn't help but think of what had happened before. What happened after Kylo- no- after Ben made his choice. 

 Snoke had turned her body towards Ben, and in that moment she was afraid. For all she spoke of his future- of being sure he had good in him, she didn't know if he would turn against his master. Rey's heart felt like it was beating out of her chest as she looked into the eyes of Ben Solo, and she was unsure. 

 "I know what I have to do."

He looked so cold, hard- and all she could hear was Snoke behind her talking of how Kylo Ren would never betray him, how he felt his determination. 

 Then it happened. She fell to her knees and Snoke was no more- and she knew. In that moment she knew that he could be saved. That Kylo Ren would have killed her, but not Ben Solo. 

 She fought beside Ben Solo, they worked together in perfect harmony. Nothing had ever felt more right, she felt the darkness inside of herself that fueled her fighting skills- and she embraced it. Rey also felt the anger that came with the dark side when she looked over at the disgustingly red guard that held his staff at Ben's throat. Protectiveness and anger flowed through her and she knew she had to do something. the saber that had been taken from her moments before by the ugly Snoke, the saber that meant so much to her- Rey willingly through it to him, so that he might live. 

  After the high of fighting side by side, the world came crashing around her when Ben started talking of leaving the resistance behind- asking her to stay with him. Offering himself with a plea. 

  And it was a tempting offer, one that she knew she was close to taking. When he told her she meant something to him- her heart sang with longing. And she wanted it, Rey wanted Ben beside her- she wanted them to work together and fight together against those who would hurt them. But not like this, not with the First Order- with the Resistance. 

They fought for the saber, and broke it- like her heart. The weapon that had made her feel like someone- someone that people loved, someone that people feared, someone that was needed. And it was broken.

  That was the last thing she remembered before the explosion that flew her body across the room- where she woke up unsure of her surroundings. Until she saw him, near the center of the room, Ben laid unconscious- and Rey watched him for a few minutes. She saw innocence and she saw what could have been, Rey saw the vision of what she wanted when she touched his hand on Ach-to. 

 Picking up the other half of the broken light saber from his hand, she bent down and left a kiss on his forehead- something he might never know had happened, but would make her feel better about leaving Ben Solo behind. 

 

 And now her she was on a planet remembering all that had happened in one day- remembering how he touched her mind, feeling for her, and how she closed the door of his fathers ship. 

  Here she was on a planet, where she had a secret- one that she wasn't sure anyone would understand. She felt compassion for the man that everyone on this planet hated, and she wasn't sure how to explain to her friends that he wasn't the way he was because he wanted to be. He was made into Kylo Ren, forged and shaped by those who would seek to control him, and he thought that he had killed Ben Solo. But Rey knew, she could see into his mind- and knew that Ben Solo still lived. He was more alive than Ben cared to admit, but Rey made a promise to both herself and to the man who had chosen her over Snoke- she wouldn't let Ben Solo die, she would make sure he came back. 

  But knowing the people who surrounded her on this stranger of a planet- this would be her mission alone, her goal she would have no help with. The resistance said he was one thing and the First Order wanted him to be another- neither of which would help her bring Ben Solo back to her. Rey wouldn't give up, even if he wanted her to.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did you like TLJ??? Leave a comment on any and all questions or comments about the movie or the story LOL

Rey knew this moment would come, it had been a week since that day- both battles. The one with Kylo, and the one on Crait against him. But now was when questions were starting to be asked. 

 The general had called for a meeting regarding what she could only assume on what they were going to do. 

It was four of them that joined Leia in her chambers- Poe, Finn, Rose and herself. The five of us against the world, no Luke, no Han- they were all that were left of what would be the future. And now they debated how to move forward and with whom.

 "We must not lose hope, I know that it will be hard to place our trust in the people who ignored our call when we needed it most- but we must. Gaining the outer rim as allies will be essential since- lets be honest... We are down on numbers, and as lucky as we might have been to escape on Crait, that escape came at great cost. We lost almost everyone on the salt planet and now we are all that is left." Leia looked at the foursome who sat before her and pleaded that this was the only option.

 Poe spoke angrily, "How can we trust them, we needed them and they didn't come- they were afraid of the First Order. They let their fear guide them to becoming cowards, they are not worthy of becoming part of the resistance..." 

 "We cant be so choosy with who will join us, Poe we don't have the have the time or the ability to find people who are as qualified- right now we just need people who don't agree with the First Order and are willing to stand against them. Once they see that we have survived the battle where they abandoned us, they will either be guilt-ed into helping us- or inspired that we could accomplish something so great." 

  "I agree General, and as much as we need to do this,how much longer do you think we will have on this planet until Snoke and the First Order find us? I know from my time with the First Order that we need to be as far as we possibly can from their reaches.:"

 At Finn's words about Snoke, Rey knew this was the time to reveal it. To share that Snoke was dead. It wasn't that she didn't want to share this great news- she just knew once she revealed it to her curious friends they would want to know every detail that had happened that day.

  "You don't have to worry about Snoke.." They all looked at her with curious eyes and before they could ask she continued, "He's dead."

"Dead!?!!" All four of them spoke at the same time- happy and shocked at the same time.

 "How do you know?"

"I was there on the ship, I watched it happen..."

"Who killed him?"

"Why were you on the ship?"

"Oh my God the fuckers dead...."

It was at Leia's request that she knew it was time to respond, "Rey, explain."

"I went to them, thinking I could..." She had to think of something quick so she wouldn't reveal why she was really there, "So I could negotiate terms for the resistance, and Snoke didn't go for it."

"And then?"

"And then he put me on my knees and ordered B- Kylo to execute me." She was trying to keep this whole thing as vague as possible, so as not to give all the subtleties of what really happened hidden away.

"So you fought Kylo Ren and Snoke and killed Snoke and then what just left?"

"No, Kylo killed Snoke and called my light saber to me, then we fought against the guards- together."

 There was silence at this, no one knew what to say. 

"So he let you go? No way.."

"We killed all the guards and then he... I thought we would go and stop the assault on the resistance, but he disagreed. He wanted to let old things die- and he asked me to stay with him...."

More silence.

"He asked you to stay with him?"

"Yes and then there was an explosion on the ship. We were both knocked unconscious- then I escaped before he woke up and you know the rest..."

Finn looked at her with accusation and anger in his eyes- betrayal, "So you mean to tell me you left an unconscious Kylo Ren and didn't kill him? Why the hell not!?!"

"Are you kidding kill him when he's not awake to defend himself?"

"Yes all of this would have been over!"

"No someone else would have picked up the mantle, Hux or anyone else- it wouldn't have been over... And that's not who I am."

"Its what he would have done..." Finn whispered under his breath.

"No. You're wrong, and I didn't kill him because I thought he was coming back to us- I thought I could turn him back to the light... I still think we can!"

It was at her last statement that Leia finally spoke up, "Rey. He's not coming back, Kylo is too far gone."

"You're wrong, Leia. I know this sounds crazy, but he can be saved."

"No Rey, I know that my son is dead- hes not coming back. After all he's done, its impossible." Leia looked down dejectedly, and it angered her. That she spoke about Ben as if he were already dead.

  The anger simmered through her whole body, forcing her to stand up- the chair behind her flying back.

"You. Your just like....."

"Like who?"

"Your just like Luke! You have no faith in him- he is your son! Doesn't that mean anything?!?"

"Because he is my son, I know that he is gone! He cant be brought back, because he doesn't want to come back, Kylo is a grown man and he is choosing to do all this-"

Rey cut her off not wanting to hear another word, "You think he wanted to be like this? No! He was made into this..... He can be turned!" She couldn't explain this anger inside of herself- this fierce protectiveness that wouldn't let these people insult him.

"Why do you defend him?" It was Finn who had broken the world she had put herself and Leia into- almost forgetting there were other people here to listen to her and the General fight about her son. 

"Because I..." She couldnt put into words any of them would understand, "If he can be swayed to us, it will be the end of the war. No more lives lost."

Finn couldnt understand her need to continue this fight, "He is evil Rey, you must accept this."

"My son is too far gone- Too much consumed by darkness..."

"You deal too much in absolutes General, there is both light and dark in him- if both parts of him were to be accepted, maybe he would be more likely to abandon the First Order-"

"No! Rey it can be done!"

"You don't know that..."

Poe was the next to interject her opinion, "We could never accept someone with any form of the dark side in them."

"So you couldn't accept me? You're all so delusional if you think you don't have any of the dark in you."

  All of them looked at Rey with disbelief that she would accuse them of being anything other than Light, "Poe as much as you might not want to admit it you crave your war- your a pilot in this war and it has made you feel like someone. Its given you a purpose- don't deny it. I can see it in the few days that I have known you, you're a trigger happy war 'hero'. And every time you get in that seat people die- your own, or the enemy. You're a killer as much as anyone part of this war."

Rey couldn't stop herself, it was like word vomit- it just wouldn't stop coming out, "All of you are the same, can you not see it in yourselves? I certainly see it in me. I am part of the Light, but there is a darkness in me that I cant deny- that I don't want to deny. Why shouldn't I embrace that part of me- something the force gave to me when I know I can control it. B- Kylo needs help choosing and controlling the dark side of himself and we should be using that as a strategy. If we can sway him to us the war is over. There is no more Snoke- he is Supreme Leader, what he says goes. Why cant you see that?"

  Rey hadn't felt him in that week since Crait, but while she was fighting with er friends there was a slight brush in the back of her mind, that was almost easy to not notice.

"He was my son, Rey. And there is no denying that- but he is not coming back!"

  _Maybe not for you._

"I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree, General."

Leia looked at her with pleading eyes that were begging her to leave off the subject of her son's humanity, but Rey couldn't stop herself- they had to understand, "Even if we wanted to do this how would we even communicate with him, I doubt the First Order would let us send pleading messages of Kylo's call to the light in a bunch of letters? How would we even do it?" 

 "I don't know." _Yes I do_.

That could have been the end of the conversation, but Finn wasn't ready for this to be over. So he stood and faced his friend, "If you don't know, just drop it."

She wasn't too keen to take orders, especially on this matter no matter if it was her friend giving them, "No."

"Why do you care so much? He'll never be back, Rey!"

 _No._ "You're wrong. I've seen it."

"Oh really? With the Force? Sureeee.." Sarcasm dripped from his words, and she didn't like it.

"It's true B- Kylo will be back." 

"That's not his name, not anymore. He is not Ben Solo!" Their voices were rising both trying to get their point across the only way they knew how.

  Anger was pulsing inside Rey she could feel it from the bottom of her toes to the tips of her fingers, "He will return."

"He is Kylo Ren- murderer- brat- traitor!"

"NO" Finn was pushed to the ground by an unseen force, and it took her a moment to realize that it was her who had done it- her anger. She had to calm down- breathe- "There  _is_ good in him. You don't know what your talking about."

Finn was shocked by her show of strength- seeing something he never had before, but he recovered quickly, "He killed Han Solo. You watched it, we watched it- and then he tried to kill us. Say his name say it....... its Kylo Ren. Not Ben Solo."

She finally felt it the brush against her mind,  _he_ was listening.

"He saved me! He chose to kill Snoke and save me, he will choose the light in time. Have faith."

"How can we? After everything he's done to each of us?"

"You don't know that! You don't know that he's beyond saving, how would you know that?"

"How would you?" 

"Rey, I have had faith in my son for years, I know best of all that he is gone."

"Faith? Faith ins't measured in years, its measured in how strongly you believe it- you should know that best of all. You gave up on him years ago."

"No- I want the son I knew to return to me!"

"He will never be that boy again, that Ben Solo was killed a long time ago- along with his innocence. But a different Ben can still come back?"

"Different?"

"Luke was right to think that he failed Ben Solo, because he did- and so did you General. And now we're all reaping the consequences of the decisions you made when he was a child!"

  Finn scoffed, "Ben Solo, please..."

"When he was a child he was Ben Solo and he can be a version of that man again so long as we don't give up on him....."

  This conversation was going no where, they wouldn't hear her now. This had to be her mission- and hers alone. Rey closed her eyes and searched  her mind to see if he was still there, but as soon as he felt her searching for him, Ben closed his mind to her and left.

 "Were done here." She couldn't stand it any longer, so she left the room and used the residual anger that still fueled her to open the Generals door and slam it behind her.

  She was alone. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Ben**

It had been a good dream.

A nice dream.

A dream that he craved.

That he wanted.

It was always the same- the dream that is.

He thought he had hated his given name, but when she said it- it shocked him how his heart felt full in that moment.

 _You underestimate Skywalker-_ debatable.

 _And Ben Solo-_ he had somehow forgotten how it felt. To hear someone say his name with affection rather than to use against him for his weaknesses. To hear someone defend him- Snoke had known him for years- since he was a child, but it was Rey- who had days before hated him, who had such belief and faith in him.

  He had known what to do, when she arrived on the ship- he was sad because Ben knew his master would either kill her himself or force him to do it. Both equally painful. It was in the elevator when the thought came to him-  _what if it doesn't have to be this way?_ A thought he quickly pushed from his mind so his master wouldn't find it. 

  And seeing his- seeing Rey up in the air being tortured by the disfigured man, had been more painful than he anticipated, both to watch and feel inside himself. 

 _"I know what I have to do."_ Ben felt himself say, and the look in her eyes as she looked up at  _Ben Solo_ would haunt him for the rest of his days- fear, confusion, betrayal, and sadness. Above all sadness, it had thrown him- he thought this girl who had called him a monster would have been angry for what he shouldn't have been doing, but instead what he saw was unmistakable sadness.

And that's when it changed.

He thrusted his brilliantly red saber through Rey's heart, her expressive eyes went vacant, her body limp- and that spot of light in his mind was gone- the voice in his mind was gone and all that was left was darkness.  

It was a nightmare.

No longer a dream of what had happened, but a vision of what could have been if he stayed the silent but obedient slave Snoke wanted him to be. This would have been his future.

Darkness.

She was gone.

_Rey..._

And that's when he woke up, gasping and sweating. He had the same memory/nightmare for a month now. Every night he would find himself calling to her and immediately block the bond, so she wouldn't see through. The bond was getting stronger, which meant it was harder for him to block, but he tried all the same- draining his energy in the process.

  Sleeping had been something he needed, but dreaded after that day on Crait, and Kylo had successfully blocked her from hearing anything on his end- why should she hear him when she had left him so easily? So he didn't consciously open the bond until one day when he felt an anger and passion from her side of the bond that he hadn't felt since the day they fought the Praetorian guards. 

  Curiosity had forced him to peek through, even though he berated himself the second he thought he could open to her without Rey noticing- but Kylo couldn't help wonder what had set the little scavenger off to a point where he could feel the anger oozing off into his mind. 

   _You're just like him..._

_You're_ _just like Luke. You have no faith in him!_

_Luke was right to think that he failed Ben Solo. Because he did, and so did you- and now were all reaping the consequences of the decisions you made when he was a child._

  Obviously she was talking to his mother, and his heart felt full again. That same pull he felt every night when he called to her- he felt the same the moment he heard her defend him to his mother. Kylo couldn't explain why he felt this way, why it made his heart pump with want and his body thrum with desire. 

It was hard to deny his feelings for her when he heard and saw things like this, and this was the reason Kylo felt like it was best to keep the bond shut as tight as possible. Not that it was easy to keep it closed, but he knew it was necessary. 

 Dealing with the insufferable General Hux was both a positive and a negative this past month sisce he has become the Supreme Leader. The negative was pretty obvious, dealing with him and his nasally voice gave Kylo a permanent headache, but the only positive he could find from the whole situation was that Hux became a distraction. Listening to him constantly made him was to shove his saber right through him- igniting the anger inside himself Kylo would spend hours training and destroying dummies that he wished had a bright sprig of red hair on their head. It was infuriating how Hux tried t undercut him at every turn, he showed no respect in regard to any decision he made- yet Hux was afraid of the new Supreme Leader. Leaving the training room left him exhausted and ready for bed, which meant it was easy to slip into a deep sleep- then after a few hours Kylo would have the dream. Over and over, day in and day out he would repeat the same daily routine. 

"Supreme Leader, it has been numerous weeks and we still haven't prioritized the capture and defeat of the remaining resistance. How shall we proceed? We need-"

"I'm aware Hux- thank you for reminding me that the Resistance have yet again slipped through your incapable hands. But please do continue to shed light on your incompetence, obviously our priorities right now needs to be in house before we look to our enemies..." He knew he was placing the blame onto his ginger headed general, but that was one of the only perks to being Supreme Leader- he could shift the responsibility and failure onto someone else and since his word was God who would speak against him. 

 But that wasn't the reason they- he was stalling on finding the resistance. If they found them  _she_ would be there, and it would be expected of Kylo to kill them all. And he wasn't sure he could do that, especially since he knew she wouldn't turn her back on them to save her own skin- Kylo was hoping she would come to her senses and leave them on her own, which he doubted. This was something he wasn't sure he could do- ever. Not only would it be hard to do, but what would happen to himself? This bond wasn't going away- it was only growing stronger and what would happen if a part of his mind that she now occupied was somehow ripped out of him. 

Kylo was afraid.

For her.

For himself. 

For the both of them, he would have to be careful- and strategic. 


End file.
